Mix-it-up Day and a prayer request

I went to HSCA from Kindergarten all the way through high school, and never remember them having any kind of unusual days for uniforms, etc. I love the ideas they have come up with for the kids to have different kinds of days. It just mixes it up a little and makes the kids have some fun and different types of days, instead of the same ole', same ole'.

They have silly hat day, silly sock day, and today was mix-it-up day. You were supposed to wear clothes that didn't match, or clothes inside out, or whatever to just "mix-it-up".

I pulled out several different clothes, and let Bryce come up with what he wanted to wear and how he wanted to wear it. He just thought it was so much fun and so cool and he was excited about it. He turned his shirt inside out and wore it backwards, of course his shirt and pants don't match and neither does his Hawiian hat. You can't see it in the picture, but he has one blue sock on and one cream sock on. The only thing that is the same is his shoes.


He decided he wanted to have "mixed up eyes in" in one picture too.

Okay, now on to the prayer request. I had thought that Connor's next school year was all decided and that he would be staying at the school he has been going to since he started. It is right across the road from us, less than two minutes away. I LOVE his teachers, I feel very comfortable with them and he LOVES them as well. Just everything about it is a positive to me. I will admit though that before he started school, I was a nervous wreck and basically convinced that it wasn't going to go well and he wasn't ready, etc, etc. Once he started and after the first couple weeks that weren't great, I was very happy we did it.

Well, after the last IEP meeting where I meet with his teachers, all his therapists and the teacher/parent liason and they go over with you all the areas he has moved forward in, but then go over all the areas that he needs a lot of help in and you kind of leave those meetings feeling beat up, because you don't see your child having all the issues and problems that they do, because that is what they are trained to do, but as a Mommy, you just love your child for who he is and what he does. They informed me that they all feel strongly that by the beginning of next school year, that their school wouldn't be able to move him forward anymore. They just aren't set up to handle some of his issues and that they felt he needed more. The school they are all pushing for me to take him to is Jensen Beach Elementary.

Honestly, I left there feeling very discouraged, sad, scared, overwhelmed and a wide variety of emotions. I just really felt in my Mommy's heart that one more year where he was would do him good, but I am also the type of Mommy that never wants to hold Connor back in any way and that I want to give him the very best care, the very best options and help him move forward in his life. This is for his own good, not to hold him back for my fears.

This school has a sensory lab. They have a big program for autistic children. Connor is not autistic, but if Connor didn't have Spina Bifida, and had all the issues he has right now, and I took him to a doctor to have him checked out because of my concerns, they have a whole list of questions they go through to determine if your child may be possibly autistic and on our last visit, as I was discussing some of the teachers and my concerns with his pediatrician, she called me at home after my visit and spent a lot of time on the phone with me. She was very impressed by the wealth of information Connor's teacher provided and the concerns she had. She said in all her years as a Pediatrician and dealing with several different types of kids with needs, she had never received such a thorough and caring letter from a teacher concerning their patient.

So we discussed my feelings about his autistic types of tendencies. The two areas where he is very much unlike an autistic child (although every child is different and there is a very wide span of the level and severity of autistic child, just like there is a very wide variety of the level and severity of Spina Bifida or any other child with special needs) is that he is a lover, has no problem getting lots of hugs and also has no problem adapting to different places and different things. But as she pulled out the questions that they would typically ask a parent who had concerns and were trying to determine if the child could possibly be autistic and she started down the questions, I started becoming surprised at how many yeses I was saying and knew where this was goin. At the end, she added up all the answers and said, "well, according to this questionaire, Connor would be considered autistic". That came as a pretty big shock, and I honestly had some low days after that. But once I really started processing some things and researching some things, we know feel strongly that it just has to do with his sensory issues related to his Spina Bifida and not to do with him actually being autistic, but this sensory lab and teachers who are trained to deal with autistic children could be a huge help to him.

The other thing is that this school is quite a distance from us than his current school. So we would have Bryce going to school in Hobe Sound and Connor going to school in Jensen Beach and they are quite a distance apart. They are also supposed to both be at there respective schools at the same time, and no, I would never think about putting Connor on the bus, so some kind of arrangments are going to have to be made in transportation with Bryce, but we will figure all that out when we know more. No matter what, I will be spending a lot of time on the road and spending a lot more in gas, but if Connor is getting a lot of help and this will propel him forward in a big way, then it is all worth it!

So all that to say, that tomorrow morning, I am going with a parent liason to Jensen Beach Elementary to visit the school, see the sensory lab, will watch what the teachers are doing with the students and see where Connor may be possibly be going to school next year.

What I ask that you specifically pray for is that:

1) I keep an open mind and remember that this is for Connor's good and not what I want or don't want because of my fears. That I will have peace with my decision, whatever it may be.

2) That I will know what is best and really feel and believe it. That I will have peace in my decision, whatever it may be.

3) That the teachers are kind, and I feel comfortable with them in caring for my son. (His last two teachers I immediately liked and knew they would be great with him. I need that same feeling with these teachers). That I will have peace in my decision, whatever it may be.

4) That I don't go through a roller coaster of emotions between now and when school starts next year and constantly question and doubt myself and my decision, whatever it may be. That I will have peace with my decision, whatever it may be.

5) Did I mention that I need peace in my decision, whatever it may be?

Well, you get the point. I am nervous, kind of scared, but also want to go into this with an open mind and truly see it, and have nothing clouded by my fears or doubts.

So tomorrow morning, I will see new things, probably learn some things and hopefully will know with a deep assuredness what I am supposed to do between now and when next school year starts.

Thank you for your prayers!